procrastinaters.com

Note: This is from a news story I worked on while working at Delaware Today.  I hope I’m not infringing on any content rights or anything by posting it here, but I really thought this story was cool.

            This generation has seen an exponential rise in atheist nit-picking of the belief and believability of god, especially the Judeo-Christian God.  Articles and YouTube videos and day-to-day discussions have housed an onslaught of resistance to time-tested, if questionable, beliefs.

            A massive turning point comes with the discovery of a new theological idea.  Christian apologist Jon Parson says the insight into the truth that he expects will change the entire course of theist rhetoric came to him while watching the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens.     

“Their criticism has become increasingly difficult to ignore,” says Parson.   “We’ve always held that it’s beyond our human understanding to comprehend the Holy Trinity that is somehow one God, to comprehend how all sins from lies to murder are seen as equal in the eyes of God . . . ,” Parson continued, but much of this part of the interview has been taken out in the interest of brevity, “ . . . to comprehend the mystery of transubstantiation,  to comprehend why there is so much wrong in a world created by a benevolent, omnipotent and perfect God, and so on and so forth.  But suddenly, saying we just don’t get it isn’t good enough anymore."

“But really it’s been so simple.  All along it’s been right in front of us.”  Parson could barely hold back his excitement when revealing his retort, “We’d been using the same exact reasoning in the face of science to come to our belief in God in the first place—oh, you can’t explain it?  Well, we can, and the answer is God.  So it was as simple as reapplying it to theologians.  Well, now we can answer that, too, and the answer is God-God."

The concept, as explained by Parson, was astoundingly simple.  Whatever science struggles to explain—biogenesis, improbable recoveries from illness, the meaning of life—is an easy enough explanation: God.  Now, since the answer of God has obviously brought up as many questions as it answered in the first place, all the questions left over by theology are answered by God-God. 

            Theologians working to develop this theory into irrefutable fact are being careful not to make any missteps.  “There can’t be a single chink in this armor.  If criticism bubbles up around this belief system, who knows how many millennia it’ll take before we can figure out how to fill in those gaps.”